Thursday, 15 October 2009

France says NO to fake tan

I personally have been a fake tan user for many (embaressingly streaky) years. Once after an authentic French kiss at a wedding in Normandy I remember the horrific moment that my French amour whispered in my ear ‘tu est très charmant, mon petit orange’... and it suddenly became clear to me that the French don’t do fake. Be it tan, boobs or handbags.
Quelle dileme! For years I have lived life a more intense shade of me, having sampled every instant tanner, religiously faked it with mousses, gels, creams and sprays, even concocting my own home made melanges of L’Oreal Sublime Bronze Tinted Gel with the L’Oreal Nutri-Summer Daily Moisturiser, to spray on salon tans... now I am to pooddle in Paris I have had to ask myself, I may have, finally, reached the end of the (orange) line. There is no more fake tan can do for me, or I for it, and having now taken up residence as Paris Poodle, I refuse to be anyone’s "petit orange" again!

It may be Autumn now, but every so often the Paris Poodle is invited to a special occasion that warrants a healthy glow. An autumn wedding, a special birthday or reunion or the like, and seeing as any photographs could serve as a lifelong reminder of one’s pallid sickly skin tone, just once and again it the Poodle fake tans or autobronzes – (which sounds heaps more sophisticated!)

In Paris however, when it comes to being sun kissed, golden and gorgeous, the only name that springs to mind is that of the original sun goddess, Brigitte Bardot. The ultimate 1960’s advert for the natural suntan; her sexy spattering of freckles and a deep golden skin...One look at Mlle Bardot told a story of long summers lounging on the beach, swimming in the sea and wandering gloriously bare limbed in the heat of the sun.

After a rather malicious and ageist attack in the press, she has since become known as the ultimate anti advert for sun worshippers everywhere. Beware of each and every sunbeam, or the prune face will be your face-(quelle horreur!) and we haven’t even gone down the skin cancer route yet! Every Paris Poodle knows that to protect the skin is to perfect it.

And so these musings have lead me to the elusive question of how to achieve a healthy glow that is streak free, natural and acceptable to the anti fake wave in France...

In a dramatic step away from the hardcore overnight St Tropez Auto bronzant I have sniffed out some super subtle alternatives which can be kept in the bathroom cupboard whenever a hint of health is called; for...Introducing the new ‘its so real it must be fake’ line up...

1. The Paris Poodle loves Clarins all the more because all its packaging is in both english and french. At no. 1 is Clarins Delicious Self Tanning Cream, £19.09 or si vous preferez Clarins Creme Délicieuse Auto Bronzant! With extract of cocoa butter, it really does smell delicious! Although not as subtle as the rest of the tanners in this list it really does deliver a beautiful natural tan that is golden rather than tangoed. With a healthy dose of skin loving aloe vera this rich cream won't dry out your skin like some fake tans out there!

2. Dove Summer Glow Body Lotion for Fair To Normal Skin is a true bargain and a sure fire way to look a shade more bronzed, smell fruity and fresh, have smooth hydrated limbs and feel amazing about your own unique body shape! Despite Dove's valient efforts to use 'real women' to sell their potions, I only became curious to try this gradual tanner when I met beautiful blonde Swedish bombshell with a washboard stomach who swore by it! But the swede was real! Even if the tan wasn't! Besides Dove's £4.49 price is real enough for me! You can't go wrong with this - just apply once every other day!

3. Another of this Poodles' No.7 must have - (perhaps its because I get so many bloody vouchers) is thier No.7 Naturally Sunkissed Gradual Body Tan, £9.25 this daily moisturiser gradually builds a natural glow that is more green tea healthy than bling bling wealth. Not only does it give you a subtle colour it also leaves your skin irresistably smooth! 4. Finalement, if the idea of NOT fake tanning is totally abhorent then The California Tan Neutralizer is the must have product to banish the biscuity aroma with which all fellow fake tanners are familiar with! For only £14.99 this is a true bargain!

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