The Non French Sourire (Smile)

The French aren’t too kind to their teeth! With their black coffee, cigarette chain smoking, decadent red wine drinking and black tea habits, I imagine the dentists over here make a killing! Brown stained, discoloured teeth are byproducts of being French –almost a prized possession- serving as proof of your hedonism and sheer French-ness, your fearlessness (when it comes to strong espressos), and your colourful social life whereby you smoke numerous cigerettes on roof top terraces across Paris, whilst discussing politics, sex and the latest Lacroix collection.

As a Paris Poodle I have already had to subject my pearly whites to such offending substances- just to feel like I am at least trying to fit in! Last week as I took my strong black tea to my lips with my French friends watching intently I realised that this was a part of my French flat share initiation. Followed by 3 nights of red wine drinking and I was starting to worry – a quick oral inspection and I was sure that the colour was just a little less sparkling white than before! Action was needed!

Although us Brits aren’t too well known for our nashers I feel it my Paris Poodle duty to look after my smile and at least have white teeth, even if they aren’t perfectly aligned. A simple smile can make you look a thousand times more beautiful and it’s a thousand times more useful for getting help/your own way/another drink, than a mouthful of yellow tombstones!

To keep my smile looking pristine and sparkling, to the extent that the Olsen twins would be jealous, I rely on some super teeth whitening products – which really should take off in France, soon. I hope. These are my personal Poodle beauty secrets – as I believe there is nothing more beautiful than a great smile (well maybe David Beckham’s Calvin Klein advert...or even Paco Rabannes Black XS perfume)...so here are my favourite buys for a set of glistening, gleaming, gorgeous white gnashers...

Beverly Hills Whitening Toothpaste (from £3.49 at most supermarkets or pharmacies) Of all the teeth whitening toothpastes out there this is the Poodle’s choice – its unashamedly American marketing, promises ‘Teeth so white’, its Hollywood promise of ‘total whitening’ is irresistible when sat beside the Colgate equivalent in the toothpaste aisle at Superdrug– its so much more girly and so much more fabulous! This is Beverly Hills Formula darling- and who has discoloured teeth over there? Nobody darling! Just the nobodies!

Crest Whitening Strips £34.98 – http://www.crestwhitestrips.co.uk/ These whitening strips are the sure fire way to have sparkling white teeth and they do really work. The strips are soft tape pieces which have a gluey gel on one side – there are strips for your top nashers and for your bottom nashers (upper and lower), you fold the strips over your teeth and leave on for 30 minutes. During this time frame you can talk with an entertaining lisp, but are forbidden to eat or drink anything- unless you want to swallow the strips. The gel itself has a sweet minty taste so although it is tempting it might not be a great idea as the gel contains 10% hydrogen peroxide. This chemical concoction is the magic ingredient to whiter brighter teeth. You can buy the strips in 7, 14 or 21 day sets (where you use the strips each morning and night) and I find that even after one set of strips your teeth are already looking more red-carpet-worthy. These are such good value, you can have them every few months, or as often as you wish, to make sure your teeth are always gleaming.

Pearl Drops Instant White Brush On Veneer £7.99 Although somewhat gimmicky I confess I was a total sucker to try this and then I just fell in love with it. The Instant White Brush On Veneer from Pearl Drops “gives you a dazzling white smile in seconds! In just one coat, you can transform your smile.” So say Pearl Drops themselves- and they would know! They made it! Although painting each individual tootth with this gel is somewhat inconvenient and vain, the gel itself has a touch of glitter so that in photos you can have a real sparkle to your smile! That’s right – glitter – on your teeth! It’s so teenage that this is my favourite novelty product in my make up bag – I mean it’s so ridiculously silly that simply wearing it is enough to make you smile all night! I also recommend, if you have a good half hour to spare, to use their online Tooth Whitener where you can upload photos of yourself to whiten your teeth and retouch your make up before posting to facebook - http://www.pearldrops.co.uk/tooth-whitener.php - as Crest say;

“people with whiter teeth appear more confident, are more likely to be hired for jobs and even get better dates”

Perhaps I’d better not tell France about this! After all if they had bright white teeth they really wouldn’t really be French anymore!